Untitled (because I cannot make up my mind)

More often than not, we are tasked to make decisions, whether it is for a group of people, another individual, or simply just for yourself. To be very frank, I find making decisions the toughest job one has to undertake in his or her life. Technically, it's not really a job (because you do not get paid); it is sort of an obligation, a duty, a responsibility on your part to make a decision if you are ever given a range of choices. It's not difficult to make a decision for someone else, because you can see better (or so you think) from an outsider's perspective. But when it comes to making decision for oneself, it's a different ball game altogether.

Have you ever contemplated over a decision you have to make for a very very long time, but can NEVER make your mind? If you have ever felt that way, congratulations, you are human. And you are not alone. If you haven't. I advice you to see a doctor. Most people, if not all, love to spend time weighing the pros and cons of a certain choice before reaching a decision. There's nothing wrong about that. In fact, it's awesome that one is particular about his choices. However, some of us may spend ages weighing the benefits and harms, but can not make up his/her mind. It can be about what you want for dinner, or the college you will like to go, or even the girl you will like to woo. If one doesn't make up his mind fast, he ends up getting none of it. Or even worse.

Some may say that it is indecisiveness on one's part, probably unwillingness to accept the consequences (good and/or bad) that may ensue as a result of one's decision. I admit there exists such an apprehension at times, but I daresay that not many people in today's world are willing to take the risk. If you know that your decision may bring harm to yourself (or even to others), but may be extremely beneficial as well if nothings goes wrong, are you willing to gamble with your future, your life?

We all have to make choices. Every minute. Every day. Every year. Everytime. Even if it is a bitch-fight over whether to buy the apple pie or the chocolate brownie, or a dilemma over whether to be the president of the United States or a char kway teow hawker. Every choice you make can be life-defining. But do not succumb to the conformity imposed by the environment around you.

Be confident of your choices. Be resolute about your decisions. Most importantly, be confident. And have faith. Lots of faith. So ultimately, if you managed to become the world's greatest footballer or just simply managed to be a loving, caring househusband, you are gratified with your life and of course....with yourself.

Guess what, I'm a victim myself. Surprise, surprise..

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NOOO!!!

NOOOOO!!!!!!!

This cannot be happening. Ladies and gentlemen, we have Taylor and...Taylor. Apparently they are together. Hopefully not (but they are). Dang, I thought Taylor Swift's singlehood will last longer than that. Seems like I have been deceiving myself all this while. Hold on Taylor, (turn away Lautner, not talking to you), I will tell you why you should not dive so deep into the relationship just yet.

1. Having the same first name sounds weird enough. You will not want to be called Mrs Taylor Lautner. It'll be a really awkward moment for your kids when there is a meet-the-parents session in the future. Think about the little ones.

2. You should keep your singlehood. It's hard to come by. Look at all the other celebrities who had boyfriends. Take Miley Cyrus for instance. She got Kevin Jonas as her bf and BAM, there goes the gossip news. You don't want that to happen, do you?

3. Taylor Lautner looks Mexican.

4. And werewolf-ish.

5. You know, maaaaayybe you will meet a better guy in the future. He may not be a mexican, but he could be an asian or a singaporean ^^. You never know right? Why not keep your options open and let nature takes its course. Go out with the asian geek!! Not the mexican weirdo!!!

______________________________________________________________

devil: swifty, think twice. getting into a relationship is cool. toy with his feelings and then dump him. awesome!!

angel: I shouldn't say this. I'm being jealous, that's all. damn, you should let her pursue her happiness!!

devil: blahblahblah. shut the f**k up angel. Iknow I want her!!

ARGH. screw the devil. I'm letting swifty to choose. this is gonna be the worst decision I have ever made in my life for I see no purpose in living anymore.

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Swift Dream

Dreamt of her last night
That dream was really bright

We chatted like we were best friends
I prayed that the night will never end
I begged her to gave me a piece of her
She said that is impossible
So she signed for me on a piece of paper
Telling me to remember her forever.

She said she will run a million miles
Just to keep my smile

And I smiled.


Amateurish poem. With no structure. No brilliant choice of word. No sequence.
But hey, that was my dream last night okay. damn cool. I dreamt of swift!!

It's like a message.

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16th August

Sorry for not blogging for so long. months. but i didnt really feel like blogging. probably because there isn't much to write about.

But today is different. Never in my life have I felt so contented and satisfied and proud. Not of myself, but of my boarding school mates who had to face the audience and give their speeches. I realized that I am one who don't usually give a lot of credit to people for what they have done and their efforts. Well, there's nothing wrong and harmful for praising someone for what he or she has done right? Just now at the toastmasters speech contest, I believe I have clapped more sincerely than I have ever clapped in my entire life. That's because I'm truly impressed with what Benjamin Chin, Izumi, Alexander, Nicholas Lui, Yong Zhi, Yang Cheng, Zi Song have presented to us. It was an absolute feat to enjoy and I hope I'll never forget the evening.

Yang Cheng's speech was very good. I know he can use his language skills well and he did that really well. He is someone of whom I admire a lot, for his toughness and willingness to learn. And of course, friendliness.

Izumi talked about how we should be forgiving towards others even if they have done us wrong in one way or another. He said it with much conviction and I loved how he was so exuberant in his speech. "I forgive you" was the essence of his speech.

Nicholas talked about school life. How it is beneficial and stuff. Now that we are nearing exams, I dont think I will agree with him a lot. His speech was brilliant nonetheless.

Zi Song was hilarious! hahaha, so much actions and humour injected into his speech. Simply loved it.

Alexander's speech was the last of all. His speech was de best. I feel. Well, each to his own, but having some knowledge of his upbringing and stuff, I kinda feel for him. He's really brave to come out of the closet, not afraid to be open about his thoughts and feelings. And he's just not scared of societal norms. He's truly courageous. Alex ended his speech with a rather emotional note, something having to do with being a single child and his mum as a single parent. It was a tearful moment for Alex and his mum, cos it was truly amazing. Having known him for some time, I kinda understand what his life is like, not much, but enough to make me tearful. I can never feel what he feels and that moment was the most sincere, honest, truthful words I have ever heard in my life. If you know him well enough, you will feel blood gushing up your face, just like me.

I didn't expect the night to be so enriching. It beats the shit out of what I have learnt for my entire life. Maybe I type all of these just because there's an adrenaline rush inside me but I truly learnt a lot.

Sometimes I'm a bit judgmental about people. Even to those whom I dont even know. I want to stop being judgmental. I'll try.

good night for now. I'm feeling kinda sick. damn you matt.

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