12th March 2010

Charade

How incredulous this may sound,

This words are about something round.

Fret not, it's not about your size

Or anything that can entice.

(I can give you clues.

But first, you'll have to beg me to break the rules.

Geez, alright I don't want this to be something I rue,

In case you end up getting the blues.)

***

Without me, you know you'll feel deflated;

With me, you can't wait to be INFLATED.

Without you, I'll be as empty as air;

Without you, we can't bounce like a pair.

My softness makes you hard.

But trust me, I could be just some fart.

Your hot-ness from all the rubbing makes me rise.

(It'll still happen even in a Levi's)

***

My description skills look raw,

But really, I am talking about a basketball.

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8 Rules on How to Stay Cool in School

Number 1 rule to stay cool: Don't be jealous.

Even if you're feeling jealous, don't show it. Bottle it up. Go back home and take it out on your pillow or on your blog. Keep your cool in front of her. Remember, girls can't stand guys who get jealous.

Number 2 rule to stay cool: Don't be possessive.

She does not belong to you. She belongs to herself. And she's a servant to no one except for herself. She has the right to do whatever she wants. So, don't try to be an asshole all the time. Don't think that she rightfully belongs to you and no one else.

Number 3 rule to stay cool: Guys, cut down on the gossips.

Guys, if you wanna be cool, you've got to follow one simple rule: don't gossip about others, even though it is an inconceivably enjoyable sport. It is morally illegal and does not make you look good. Gossiping will just show that you are a jerk who bitches about people all the time but does not dare to confront that particular victim of your criticisms.

Number 4 rule to stay cool: Girls, stop trying to act like sluts in front of the guys.

Girls, we all know the female gender are slightly more attractive than the other sex because of certain humps, but this does not mean that you should go around shaking your booty in front of testosterone-raging jocks. The sight of it is equivalent to what people watch on Animal Planet when humans observe how baboons shake their flesh to attract the opposite sex.

Number 5 rule to stay cool: Be funny, not sarcastic.

The way to penetrate into the core of a girl's heart is to use humour. It works all the time. Be funny, and tease the girl. But please, you should know that humour is not the same as sarcasm. Excessive usage of sarcasm can irritate people. And trust me, you don't want to get into people's bad books during the first term of your senior years. Sarcasm works well sometimes, but be discreet.

Number 6 rule to stay cool: When you can't do it, admit it.

We all hate stubborn people who insist of their capability despite the fact that they have zero potential. If you realise that you suck at a certain something, say it. Don't be aggressive when people criticise your performance. SMILE. And take it all in. Use humour to cover your embarrassment up. Let your imagination run wild.

Number 7 rule to stay cool: Learn to say 'no'. But compensate for your rejection.

We all want to be nice. But the truth is, you can't be nice to everyone and everything. Saying no is an essential part of growing up. Of course, it's sorta mean to reject others, but you have to know that sometimes you just can't help it, due to certain circumstances. But, if you want to feel less guilty and less like a jerk, make compensations. Like you can help out the person in other ways or just buy gifts for them. Essentially you have to find your own way of licking the other party's wound.

Number 8 rule to stay cool: Be decisive.

Decisiveness is one of the key markers of your character. Learn to make decisions fast. If you take too long, you may just miss out on your chances and what's worse, appear to be one who takes too long to choose over pizza or pasta. If you are given a range of choices, choose fast (but choose wisely). Moreover, you wouldn't want to drag too long because the more you think about it, the more anxious you will get, and the possibility of not approaching the girl increases. There's a reason why the slogans of Nike and Adidas are crafted out like they are. You have to "Just Do It" and think that "Impossible is Nothing".

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Untitled (because I cannot make up my mind)

More often than not, we are tasked to make decisions, whether it is for a group of people, another individual, or simply just for yourself. To be very frank, I find making decisions the toughest job one has to undertake in his or her life. Technically, it's not really a job (because you do not get paid); it is sort of an obligation, a duty, a responsibility on your part to make a decision if you are ever given a range of choices. It's not difficult to make a decision for someone else, because you can see better (or so you think) from an outsider's perspective. But when it comes to making decision for oneself, it's a different ball game altogether.

Have you ever contemplated over a decision you have to make for a very very long time, but can NEVER make your mind? If you have ever felt that way, congratulations, you are human. And you are not alone. If you haven't. I advice you to see a doctor. Most people, if not all, love to spend time weighing the pros and cons of a certain choice before reaching a decision. There's nothing wrong about that. In fact, it's awesome that one is particular about his choices. However, some of us may spend ages weighing the benefits and harms, but can not make up his/her mind. It can be about what you want for dinner, or the college you will like to go, or even the girl you will like to woo. If one doesn't make up his mind fast, he ends up getting none of it. Or even worse.

Some may say that it is indecisiveness on one's part, probably unwillingness to accept the consequences (good and/or bad) that may ensue as a result of one's decision. I admit there exists such an apprehension at times, but I daresay that not many people in today's world are willing to take the risk. If you know that your decision may bring harm to yourself (or even to others), but may be extremely beneficial as well if nothings goes wrong, are you willing to gamble with your future, your life?

We all have to make choices. Every minute. Every day. Every year. Everytime. Even if it is a bitch-fight over whether to buy the apple pie or the chocolate brownie, or a dilemma over whether to be the president of the United States or a char kway teow hawker. Every choice you make can be life-defining. But do not succumb to the conformity imposed by the environment around you.

Be confident of your choices. Be resolute about your decisions. Most importantly, be confident. And have faith. Lots of faith. So ultimately, if you managed to become the world's greatest footballer or just simply managed to be a loving, caring househusband, you are gratified with your life and of course....with yourself.

Guess what, I'm a victim myself. Surprise, surprise..

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NOOO!!!

NOOOOO!!!!!!!

This cannot be happening. Ladies and gentlemen, we have Taylor and...Taylor. Apparently they are together. Hopefully not (but they are). Dang, I thought Taylor Swift's singlehood will last longer than that. Seems like I have been deceiving myself all this while. Hold on Taylor, (turn away Lautner, not talking to you), I will tell you why you should not dive so deep into the relationship just yet.

1. Having the same first name sounds weird enough. You will not want to be called Mrs Taylor Lautner. It'll be a really awkward moment for your kids when there is a meet-the-parents session in the future. Think about the little ones.

2. You should keep your singlehood. It's hard to come by. Look at all the other celebrities who had boyfriends. Take Miley Cyrus for instance. She got Kevin Jonas as her bf and BAM, there goes the gossip news. You don't want that to happen, do you?

3. Taylor Lautner looks Mexican.

4. And werewolf-ish.

5. You know, maaaaayybe you will meet a better guy in the future. He may not be a mexican, but he could be an asian or a singaporean ^^. You never know right? Why not keep your options open and let nature takes its course. Go out with the asian geek!! Not the mexican weirdo!!!

______________________________________________________________

devil: swifty, think twice. getting into a relationship is cool. toy with his feelings and then dump him. awesome!!

angel: I shouldn't say this. I'm being jealous, that's all. damn, you should let her pursue her happiness!!

devil: blahblahblah. shut the f**k up angel. Iknow I want her!!

ARGH. screw the devil. I'm letting swifty to choose. this is gonna be the worst decision I have ever made in my life for I see no purpose in living anymore.

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