25th March

It's a rojak of emotions.

I know what's my problem.
When I have the chance, I get distracted easily and forgo the opportunity way too sloppily.
When I create my own chances, I tend to think no further than that moment itself.

When I dont have the chance, I am worried of creating them.

When I am rejected of the chance, I falter and and become dejected.

The problem is, I know my problems too well.

As ridiculous as this may sound, understanding myself too well is a weakness.

I'm going to make things change. For myself.

*

Whatever's said below the asterisk has completely nothing to do with what's said above it.

I have a crucial soccer match tomorrow, and to be honest, I am afraid. Afraid because I was disappointed. Disappointed because I was afraid. You see, it's a helluva vicious fking cycle. I swear I felt intimidated. I swear I felt scared. I swear I felt ball-less. I swear I didn't feel like a man at all. I swear I was being a coward.

But I swear I am going to get over all these negativity.

I'm going to do my part well.

I'm going to fulfill my individual responsibility.

I'm going to remind myself that as long as I uphold my responsibilities, I have done a good job.

I'm going to remember that I defend like a warrior. And that's all I need to do, before anything.

I'm going to keep in mind that my responsibilities to the team come first, before anything.

I'm going to be a motivation for myself, and for my team.

I'm going to do well.

I will do well.