Pahang

Pahang

Be open,

Be nice to the maidens.

Start observing,

Even when you're playing.

Discard pre-judgements,

Allow joyful increments.

Show your concern,

Without discern.

Share your humour,

Don't do it in a murmur.

Enjoy learning new stuff,

Like a language that's tough.

Share your opinions with those

Whom you enjoy being with most.

But.

I regret not knowing her better,

Because that's what really matters.

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slight disappointment

honestly, not being selected was a tad disappointing.

I admit I made several mistakes in the last few matches of the season, but I was quite sure I played relatively well in the first two matches. I gave my all, fought, and most importantly, tried, albeit the defeats.

I try so hard to make an impression. But now I know, I shouldnt do it for the sake of maintaining that impression of myself. I should do it for myself and the team, not him.

He chose the best players to try it out, and I encourage all of them to go for it.

I sound like I'm grumbling and moaning at my loss right? I am indeed, but I'm doing it like how a cat will like its healed wounds (what's left is a scar). I have a few regrets, and it's quite annoying to even be thinking about them now that season was over since so long ago.

This post is merely a note about how I feel a little disappointed with myself for my past mistakes and a reminder to myself about who and what I should be working hard for.

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5/4/2010

I was naive.

Everyone gets hurt when a family is troubled by problems.

Nobody is left out.

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4/4/2010

The victims of all family problems are the children.

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31st March 2010

Not one of my favourite days, 31st March.

Then again, not many people enjoyed this last day of the month.

She got upset she didn't get into council, and so were many other close friends.

I wanted to be there. I regretted not being there. Hold on, I hope I was wanted?

But no, it's not going to be about my selfishness today.

I was hoping today was tomorrow, so we can laugh at how bad a joke it is.

But clearly, April Fool's comes late.

We all know it aint a joke, but it's...just too bad.

I've never seen strongmen break down like that.

A blessing that I didnt get to witness the unfortunate emotional floods.

A misfortune that I didnt get to lend my ear, to those who yearned.

An irony it is at how I cannot decide whether to thank god for missing the release of the results. Or not.

I hope I can bring tomorrow to today. Or switch tomorrow for today. Or just throw today altogether. Because not everyone laughed today.

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We Played Our Guts Out, And You Know It.

It's really difficult to accept reality. But that is the tough truth.

We started with tremendously low self-esteem. We didn't trust ourselves. Neither did we trust our own teammates. We may have lots of faith in ourselves, but we all realised that isnt enough to make a football team. We thought individuals are the sole requirements to carry a team. We thought as long as we go for trainings, we are playing awesome soccer.

But then, today, we proved ourselves.

We may not have won against IJC or SAJC. Some say it's bad luck, some say we didn't take all of our chances well. The match against SAJC is one I will never forget. I don't say this often, which means that when I say it, it's that important and memorable. Every single individual in the team upholded their respective responsibility. Every single individual gave themselves to the team. Every single individual out there wanted to prove themselves, and they did, really. We threw our bodies at the ball. We fought like warriors.

Definitely, it's a difficult loss to swallow. Nevertheless, we walked out of the SAJC field as winners. We went in as the underdogs, expected to lose to the strong SAJC players. We knew in terms of game experience, talent and technical experience, our opponents were much much ahead of us. I believed everyone was afraid, because so much was at stake, and the result seemed determined even before the match was played. But we showed that No One Is Here By Chance. It was a tough match to play, but we excelled.

Before I wrote this post, I read Kaiwen's genuine expressive note. It was a note of reflection, not only for himself, but definitely also for the entire hwachong soccer team (I believe). It is indeed true that some of the players got really emotional after the match, like kaiwen and olivier, because they have given their all and yet, the results do not reflect their diligence and determination. I salute these people. I admire them for their spirit. I am proud to be their teammate.

I got really disappointed that we didnt get anything out of the match. Everyone was. Some cried. Some sat alone contemplating. Some were staring into blank space. But as emotional as I may be, I controlled myself. I understood that we gave everything we had to secure at least a point. It was not a bad match; in fact, it was the best match ever played. I want to keep my hopes high. I want to remain confident that this year will be the year that the hwachong soccer team finally gets past to the next round.

Hence, I lifted my head up. And urged everyone else to lift theirs as well.

Because for all you know, nothing is over.

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25th March

It's a rojak of emotions.

I know what's my problem.
When I have the chance, I get distracted easily and forgo the opportunity way too sloppily.
When I create my own chances, I tend to think no further than that moment itself.

When I dont have the chance, I am worried of creating them.

When I am rejected of the chance, I falter and and become dejected.

The problem is, I know my problems too well.

As ridiculous as this may sound, understanding myself too well is a weakness.

I'm going to make things change. For myself.

*

Whatever's said below the asterisk has completely nothing to do with what's said above it.

I have a crucial soccer match tomorrow, and to be honest, I am afraid. Afraid because I was disappointed. Disappointed because I was afraid. You see, it's a helluva vicious fking cycle. I swear I felt intimidated. I swear I felt scared. I swear I felt ball-less. I swear I didn't feel like a man at all. I swear I was being a coward.

But I swear I am going to get over all these negativity.

I'm going to do my part well.

I'm going to fulfill my individual responsibility.

I'm going to remind myself that as long as I uphold my responsibilities, I have done a good job.

I'm going to remember that I defend like a warrior. And that's all I need to do, before anything.

I'm going to keep in mind that my responsibilities to the team come first, before anything.

I'm going to be a motivation for myself, and for my team.

I'm going to do well.

I will do well.

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Compression

Wei Lun:

Wei Lun is too good to be true.

Fang:

Too good to be true

Too good for her too

Wei Lun:

Please don't make me feel like poo.

Fang:

The Rejection of you is a loss she will rue
That you cant be topped, she has no clue

Wei Lun:

Stop it, you're wrong 'cause that jerk's just a tool

To make me look like a fool

Fang:

Oh. The one she wants is you.

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12th March 2010

Charade

How incredulous this may sound,

This words are about something round.

Fret not, it's not about your size

Or anything that can entice.

(I can give you clues.

But first, you'll have to beg me to break the rules.

Geez, alright I don't want this to be something I rue,

In case you end up getting the blues.)

***

Without me, you know you'll feel deflated;

With me, you can't wait to be INFLATED.

Without you, I'll be as empty as air;

Without you, we can't bounce like a pair.

My softness makes you hard.

But trust me, I could be just some fart.

Your hot-ness from all the rubbing makes me rise.

(It'll still happen even in a Levi's)

***

My description skills look raw,

But really, I am talking about a basketball.

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8 Rules on How to Stay Cool in School

Number 1 rule to stay cool: Don't be jealous.

Even if you're feeling jealous, don't show it. Bottle it up. Go back home and take it out on your pillow or on your blog. Keep your cool in front of her. Remember, girls can't stand guys who get jealous.

Number 2 rule to stay cool: Don't be possessive.

She does not belong to you. She belongs to herself. And she's a servant to no one except for herself. She has the right to do whatever she wants. So, don't try to be an asshole all the time. Don't think that she rightfully belongs to you and no one else.

Number 3 rule to stay cool: Guys, cut down on the gossips.

Guys, if you wanna be cool, you've got to follow one simple rule: don't gossip about others, even though it is an inconceivably enjoyable sport. It is morally illegal and does not make you look good. Gossiping will just show that you are a jerk who bitches about people all the time but does not dare to confront that particular victim of your criticisms.

Number 4 rule to stay cool: Girls, stop trying to act like sluts in front of the guys.

Girls, we all know the female gender are slightly more attractive than the other sex because of certain humps, but this does not mean that you should go around shaking your booty in front of testosterone-raging jocks. The sight of it is equivalent to what people watch on Animal Planet when humans observe how baboons shake their flesh to attract the opposite sex.

Number 5 rule to stay cool: Be funny, not sarcastic.

The way to penetrate into the core of a girl's heart is to use humour. It works all the time. Be funny, and tease the girl. But please, you should know that humour is not the same as sarcasm. Excessive usage of sarcasm can irritate people. And trust me, you don't want to get into people's bad books during the first term of your senior years. Sarcasm works well sometimes, but be discreet.

Number 6 rule to stay cool: When you can't do it, admit it.

We all hate stubborn people who insist of their capability despite the fact that they have zero potential. If you realise that you suck at a certain something, say it. Don't be aggressive when people criticise your performance. SMILE. And take it all in. Use humour to cover your embarrassment up. Let your imagination run wild.

Number 7 rule to stay cool: Learn to say 'no'. But compensate for your rejection.

We all want to be nice. But the truth is, you can't be nice to everyone and everything. Saying no is an essential part of growing up. Of course, it's sorta mean to reject others, but you have to know that sometimes you just can't help it, due to certain circumstances. But, if you want to feel less guilty and less like a jerk, make compensations. Like you can help out the person in other ways or just buy gifts for them. Essentially you have to find your own way of licking the other party's wound.

Number 8 rule to stay cool: Be decisive.

Decisiveness is one of the key markers of your character. Learn to make decisions fast. If you take too long, you may just miss out on your chances and what's worse, appear to be one who takes too long to choose over pizza or pasta. If you are given a range of choices, choose fast (but choose wisely). Moreover, you wouldn't want to drag too long because the more you think about it, the more anxious you will get, and the possibility of not approaching the girl increases. There's a reason why the slogans of Nike and Adidas are crafted out like they are. You have to "Just Do It" and think that "Impossible is Nothing".

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Untitled (because I cannot make up my mind)

More often than not, we are tasked to make decisions, whether it is for a group of people, another individual, or simply just for yourself. To be very frank, I find making decisions the toughest job one has to undertake in his or her life. Technically, it's not really a job (because you do not get paid); it is sort of an obligation, a duty, a responsibility on your part to make a decision if you are ever given a range of choices. It's not difficult to make a decision for someone else, because you can see better (or so you think) from an outsider's perspective. But when it comes to making decision for oneself, it's a different ball game altogether.

Have you ever contemplated over a decision you have to make for a very very long time, but can NEVER make your mind? If you have ever felt that way, congratulations, you are human. And you are not alone. If you haven't. I advice you to see a doctor. Most people, if not all, love to spend time weighing the pros and cons of a certain choice before reaching a decision. There's nothing wrong about that. In fact, it's awesome that one is particular about his choices. However, some of us may spend ages weighing the benefits and harms, but can not make up his/her mind. It can be about what you want for dinner, or the college you will like to go, or even the girl you will like to woo. If one doesn't make up his mind fast, he ends up getting none of it. Or even worse.

Some may say that it is indecisiveness on one's part, probably unwillingness to accept the consequences (good and/or bad) that may ensue as a result of one's decision. I admit there exists such an apprehension at times, but I daresay that not many people in today's world are willing to take the risk. If you know that your decision may bring harm to yourself (or even to others), but may be extremely beneficial as well if nothings goes wrong, are you willing to gamble with your future, your life?

We all have to make choices. Every minute. Every day. Every year. Everytime. Even if it is a bitch-fight over whether to buy the apple pie or the chocolate brownie, or a dilemma over whether to be the president of the United States or a char kway teow hawker. Every choice you make can be life-defining. But do not succumb to the conformity imposed by the environment around you.

Be confident of your choices. Be resolute about your decisions. Most importantly, be confident. And have faith. Lots of faith. So ultimately, if you managed to become the world's greatest footballer or just simply managed to be a loving, caring househusband, you are gratified with your life and of course....with yourself.

Guess what, I'm a victim myself. Surprise, surprise..

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NOOO!!!

NOOOOO!!!!!!!

This cannot be happening. Ladies and gentlemen, we have Taylor and...Taylor. Apparently they are together. Hopefully not (but they are). Dang, I thought Taylor Swift's singlehood will last longer than that. Seems like I have been deceiving myself all this while. Hold on Taylor, (turn away Lautner, not talking to you), I will tell you why you should not dive so deep into the relationship just yet.

1. Having the same first name sounds weird enough. You will not want to be called Mrs Taylor Lautner. It'll be a really awkward moment for your kids when there is a meet-the-parents session in the future. Think about the little ones.

2. You should keep your singlehood. It's hard to come by. Look at all the other celebrities who had boyfriends. Take Miley Cyrus for instance. She got Kevin Jonas as her bf and BAM, there goes the gossip news. You don't want that to happen, do you?

3. Taylor Lautner looks Mexican.

4. And werewolf-ish.

5. You know, maaaaayybe you will meet a better guy in the future. He may not be a mexican, but he could be an asian or a singaporean ^^. You never know right? Why not keep your options open and let nature takes its course. Go out with the asian geek!! Not the mexican weirdo!!!

______________________________________________________________

devil: swifty, think twice. getting into a relationship is cool. toy with his feelings and then dump him. awesome!!

angel: I shouldn't say this. I'm being jealous, that's all. damn, you should let her pursue her happiness!!

devil: blahblahblah. shut the f**k up angel. Iknow I want her!!

ARGH. screw the devil. I'm letting swifty to choose. this is gonna be the worst decision I have ever made in my life for I see no purpose in living anymore.

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Swift Dream

Dreamt of her last night
That dream was really bright

We chatted like we were best friends
I prayed that the night will never end
I begged her to gave me a piece of her
She said that is impossible
So she signed for me on a piece of paper
Telling me to remember her forever.

She said she will run a million miles
Just to keep my smile

And I smiled.


Amateurish poem. With no structure. No brilliant choice of word. No sequence.
But hey, that was my dream last night okay. damn cool. I dreamt of swift!!

It's like a message.

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16th August

Sorry for not blogging for so long. months. but i didnt really feel like blogging. probably because there isn't much to write about.

But today is different. Never in my life have I felt so contented and satisfied and proud. Not of myself, but of my boarding school mates who had to face the audience and give their speeches. I realized that I am one who don't usually give a lot of credit to people for what they have done and their efforts. Well, there's nothing wrong and harmful for praising someone for what he or she has done right? Just now at the toastmasters speech contest, I believe I have clapped more sincerely than I have ever clapped in my entire life. That's because I'm truly impressed with what Benjamin Chin, Izumi, Alexander, Nicholas Lui, Yong Zhi, Yang Cheng, Zi Song have presented to us. It was an absolute feat to enjoy and I hope I'll never forget the evening.

Yang Cheng's speech was very good. I know he can use his language skills well and he did that really well. He is someone of whom I admire a lot, for his toughness and willingness to learn. And of course, friendliness.

Izumi talked about how we should be forgiving towards others even if they have done us wrong in one way or another. He said it with much conviction and I loved how he was so exuberant in his speech. "I forgive you" was the essence of his speech.

Nicholas talked about school life. How it is beneficial and stuff. Now that we are nearing exams, I dont think I will agree with him a lot. His speech was brilliant nonetheless.

Zi Song was hilarious! hahaha, so much actions and humour injected into his speech. Simply loved it.

Alexander's speech was the last of all. His speech was de best. I feel. Well, each to his own, but having some knowledge of his upbringing and stuff, I kinda feel for him. He's really brave to come out of the closet, not afraid to be open about his thoughts and feelings. And he's just not scared of societal norms. He's truly courageous. Alex ended his speech with a rather emotional note, something having to do with being a single child and his mum as a single parent. It was a tearful moment for Alex and his mum, cos it was truly amazing. Having known him for some time, I kinda understand what his life is like, not much, but enough to make me tearful. I can never feel what he feels and that moment was the most sincere, honest, truthful words I have ever heard in my life. If you know him well enough, you will feel blood gushing up your face, just like me.

I didn't expect the night to be so enriching. It beats the shit out of what I have learnt for my entire life. Maybe I type all of these just because there's an adrenaline rush inside me but I truly learnt a lot.

Sometimes I'm a bit judgmental about people. Even to those whom I dont even know. I want to stop being judgmental. I'll try.

good night for now. I'm feeling kinda sick. damn you matt.

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Je Ne Sais Quoi

You have a certain je ne sais quoi.

You know that, don't you?

HAHA

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English Lesson

Today we all had the best english lesson ever. It is de best.

Instead of going through content and all the lesson crap, Mrs Ng Mui Eng allowed us to play charade in her class, and truth or dare too. It was something out of the ordinary, so sudden that everybody did not feel too comfortable with the idea, initially. But after playing the charade, everyone went high. We were having so much fun. The kind of fun we have is nothing like watching Mr SLim nailing Nelson, or witness Laurang flirting with Greg, it was childhood fun, something that we have been deprived of ever since we started schooling. No exaggeration intended here. Honestly.

We played truth or dare as an entire class, and it was the most interesting. It was weird to hear so much personal stuff about the peers you have been having english lessons with for almost two years now, but nonetheless, intriguing. In fact, I bet you it was the most honest, truthful 'discussion' we ever had as a class. I did a song performance (lol!), Nelson did hardgay, Ming got kissed, Bradley was dancing around one of the HCI staff (super funny!!!), Sam was lying down outside the classroom for passersby to gawk at, ephraim did a slut dance directly at Mrs Eng, greg did a simulation of 2 Girls 1 Cup with Zhihao (HAHAHA), sean did a wrestling move on sam, and many more crazy stuff. Some others were forced to reveal their crush or whether they still have their v-card :D

Most importantly, Mrs Ng told us something about herself which has to be kept within the four walls of the classroom. She's really brave to tell us something like that because it is something so personal and no teacher in hwachong will ever do that. We have to be more cautious now of what we say.

I <3> 6th Auguest 2009

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2nd August

This day has been a surprise. Really, I didnt expect so much hype for my sexteen, oops i mean sixteen, birthday. I really didnt.

HAHA AND SO MANY PEOPLE WISHED ME ON FACEBOOK. UBER COOL.

I kinda expected that alex and some others will celebrate for me but my idea of celebrating did not mean 90 people!! Nevertheless, it was a pleasant surprise. I loved it.

Yesterday, some of us went to eat at seoul garden for dinner. MY TREAT. junyi siheng alvin irvin and josh. We ate till the workers had to remind us that they will be closing the buffet counter haha. We didn't give a crap about whether the food was cooked or not, it doesnt matter :D So predicatably, we diarrhoea-ed the next morning. nice. I had a great time yesterday night, and I thought my birthday would end there. But it didnt :)

siheng and junyi gave me a tennis cap:) and irvin and others are gonna get me a tennis shirt :) thanks guys :D:D:D

Oh oh, irvin wrote a really cool blog post about last night. And his picture was awesome!! thanks buddy :]

http://irvin22kaka.livejournal.com/2337.html

That was the 1st of August, a day before my birthday.

It will always be the world's blessing that a certain boy was born on 2nd August. The birth was so important that it changed the world, for the better. ME WAS BORN!! I'm a premature (and thank god i am a premature if not i'll be 'celebrating' my birthdays on exam dates) BUT I am 1.81m tall and 63kg heavy. So unlike a premature eh? Thanks to my mummy and papa and my ahma and popo and yeye, I have strong bones and humongous muscles and eight pacs, something like Arnold Swarznager. These are the people I owe my life to. Without them, the world would not have been so beautiful. haha.

So 2nd August.

Woke up and received many smses, which brought a smile on my face (lol!). But that's not the end. On facebook, I got messages from friends! Seconday school friends, primary school friends, overseas friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. I LOVE IT!!!!

Came to boarding school. The afternoon was dreadful and draggy. It was boring and dull. It was lifeless and humid. It was not the afternoon anyone will like. But well, what follows in the after-afternoon was more than I could wish for. At first I thought I will receive birthday wishes from people, which I did, and nothing more than that. I was wrong, thank god I was wrong. You see, after the buffet dinner we had, I went to the washroom to pick out all the food stuck between the brackets on my braces. Then I went back to the dining area and all lights were all. At that point in time, I had a slight inkling of what was gonna happen, but I wasn't sure. I walked in and tried to mingle into the crowd, which is surrounding zisong with the cake in his hands. Honestly, I did not know what to do. Nobody else did because it's supposed to be a surprise! I disrupted their plan, and I knew I had to salvage it, if not their efforts will go to waste. So, being the quick-thicker I am, I tried to act as if I didn't expect a celebration.

I hid behind the pillar and I appeared to be super duper shocked when they started singing the birthday song. It was hilarious and thoroughly enjoyable. If only that moment can be reenacted. haha jkjk. The act turned out to be better than a 'surprise' and I am glad I did what I have done :))

OH AND I RECEIVED A TAYLOR SWIFT POSTER FROM ALEX!!!

There is a tradition in IBP that every birthday dude has to perform for his audience. Some people asked me to sing, but I wouldnt do that cos I wasnt prepared to sing Taylor Swift and it would have been too cheesy. Being a quick-thinker :) and with junyi's suggestion, I requested Nicholas Liu to dance for me. It was so sudden that even the zihigh niclui was shellshocked haha. So being the Mr Nice Guy, I did a dance around nic lui, with him being the pole and me being the well, pole dancer. very fun!!!

Alex matthew derrick zhengyi chongjiat celebrated the birthday once more when we returned to the boarding school. I appreciate their efforts and I am very thankful for what they have done for me.

I want to thank all (love you peeps) who have wished me and organized the celebrations and bought the cake and printed the poster!!!

alvin, irvin, siheng, junyi, josh, lester, alexander, gordon, zisong, matthew, derrick, ling feng, gohid, shicheng, izumi (for the cake-smearing), jonathan seng, julian, darren, guangyan, Alexandria, Cheryl (thanks for your comment on facebook :D), Mr Tan CG, bradley, yu song, jia quan, walter, zhengyu, chongwe, fang, alan, adeline, adabelle, ning, tricia, greg, dennis, phoebe, daniel, kenji, weiliang, gary, yinhong, yijing, nigel, jovina, yuquan, daryn, zhihao, nicholas tan, nicholas liu, shaojie, yonghwee, kahhow.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has been the best birthday yet.

(All that's left was a phone call)

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A Clockwork Orange

I'm glad I watched the film. It was simply intriguing, albeit disturbing too.

The plot sounds really familiar but the way the story was told was absolutely...different. The film was filmed (lol) in the 1970s and some aspects of the movie looks extremely modern, like as if it is a forecast to the future. Loved it tons. Highly explicit and violent, but definitely essential and vital.

Arousing yet disturbing. Guilty yet pleasurable. Enjoyable yet worried. very beautiful irony, the film.

Daring and controversial.

very naise !

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19th July

Borat was so 2006....

XD

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13th July

I have always wanted to do this.

This has always been my target.

It seemed hard, but now I have kickstarted it.

It is a dream

It was a dream

Now, a reality.

JOIN FACEBOOK GROUP:

WE WANT TAYLOR SWIFT TO COME TO SINGAPORE

yes that is my "dream". how cool eh? :))

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